How to be a better transgender ally

By River Powers, Reporter

Most of us like to think that Vashon Island High School is accepting of transgender people, but the truth is that it could be better. Sure, it’s not actively transphobic, but being an ally is more than just not being an enemy. As you’ve probably heard before, “Ally is a verb, not a noun.” Being an ally is something you have to actively work at, not something you are or say you are.

Here are some things you can do to help VHS be more accepting of its trans students: If someone has atypical pronouns, respect that. It might not make sense to you, but it makes sense to them, and that’s all that matters. This also applies to gender—if someone’s gender doesn’t make sense to you, respect it anyways. Being transgender isn’t about making sense to cisgender people—we know ourselves better than you ever could.

If you don’t know someone’s pronouns, ask! Don’t just assume based on their appearance.
Additionally, make sure to specify your pronouns even if you’re cisgender, as it normalizes sharing pronouns; it can feel very othering if trans people are the only ones who share their pronouns. A good rule of thumb is to put your pronouns anywhere that you would put your name, such as when introducing yourself or in email signatures.

If you mess up someone’s pronouns or name, just correct yourself and move on—don’t make a big deal of it. No over-the-top apologies, no mention of how “hard it is for you,” just correct yourself and move on. If you really want to, you can add a quick “sorry,” but leave it at that. Try not to make it a habit though because using someone’s correct pronouns and name is the bare minimum of allyship and a matter of basic respect.

Don’t use the phrases “identifies as” or “preferred pronouns.” Just say “is” or “pronouns.” This one may seem harmless on the surface, but it implies that trans people aren’t actually the gender we say we are, whether you mean it that way or not. This also applies when referring to groups. For example, you don’t need to say “people who identify as female,” you can just say “women.”

This may be a good starting point, but it is by no means the be-all end-all of trans allyship. Overall, the most important thing you can do to be a better ally is to listen to trans people and respect our decisions and identities, even if they don’t make sense to you.