An amateur review of our Vashon spring
sports
By Mackenzie Guadagno, Managing Editor
I admit I am not a professional at any sport. And while I do my best to support our school’s teams, I don’t attend as many games as I’d like. I’ve chosen to rank the spring sports in terms of playability and watchability. Or more simply put, how enjoyable it is to play and watch.There’s unquestionably a lot I don’t know. But, like any good, red-blooded American, that doesn’t stop me from having opinions. So please enjoy—and take no offense.
First: Boys’ Soccer
I do genuinely love watching boys soccer. Our boys team is good, but women’s soccer simply has more of a history of being technically gifted than mens. Don’t believe me? Watch the men’s world cup and then watch the women’s. The women’s team won four world cups; the men, none. The women’s team is ranked 1st; the men, 13th. In terms of playability, soccer will always be number 1 in my heart. Footwork takes genuine skill and the connection players make with their team is what makes the sport so enjoyable.
Rating: 9/10
Second: Girls’ Lacrosse
This sport is high scoring and fast paced so it has a better score in watchability. It’s also worth noting that girls lacrosse is actually a fun sport to play, although it may not be obvious because the lack of interest by potential players has caused the team to be repeatedly rejected from a Varsity ranking. As I am one of the few people on the team, I would know that while we often have shutouts, I cannot understand the baffling contradiction that the team hates to run during practice.
Rating: 8.5/10
Third: Boys’ Lacrosse
A wise 12-year-old once told me, “Lacrosse is a sport for boys who couldn’t make the football team.” I hate to say I agree with this. Girl’s lacrosse takes skill and technique while all boy’s ask of its players is brute force. If there was ever a modern-day Coliseum event, it’s boys lacrosse. With all this being said, I rarely miss boy’s lacrosse games because it is one of the sports I really love to watch.
Rating: 8/10
Fourth: Boys’ Baseball
Baseball is also one of those sports that I feel I could easily get very good at, not because I’m at all
passionate about it but because it requires so little skill. Another thing, baseball is so boring that Baseball Commissioner Robert Mansfeld, Jr. himself called it boring in a New York Times podcast, The Daily. So, I was honestly shocked when I went to their first home game and found myself entertained. We are fortunate to have talented players in this area and both games I went to this season, we won—by a wide margin. Another thing that stood out to me at these games was the teams’ incredible chemistry with each other. They truly support each other and their connection shows. Good job boys baseball.
Rating: 7/10
Fifth: Girls’ Tennis
Tennis is an off-season sport by design. Players generally stay fit for their main sport while they play, but it takes very little skill and time to learn. I confess I don’t watch tennis. My sister plays it, but I haven’t seen her play. I heard there was a movie about successful women’s tennis players. Sisters, I think? Yeah… I didn’t watch that either.
Rating: 6/10
Sixth: Rowing
There is not enough money or physical force in the world that could make me watch a rowing regatta. I
feel bad for the poor souls who have significant others on the team and are therefore forced to watch the slowest race in all of existence. But, unfortunately, I have to admit that rowing is an intense workout that is not suited for those who are looking for an easier sport, so I respect the players who choose to take part, as I doubt I have the endurance to handle it.
Rating: 5/10
Seventh: Track
Similar to rowing, I actually have quite a bit of respect for track runners. For me, running for running’s sake is unpleasant. It is remarkable that anyone would voluntarily run unless they were chasing something or being chased. That said, runners are some of the best athletes so I respect them. But track—really? You’re literally running in circles.
Rating: 5/10
Eighth: Softball
Softball’s ranking is purely for the name. It has nothing to do with the players or the workings of the sport itself—I don’t know how to play. I love our softball team. I don’t love that we call a women’s sport “softball.” Although the ball is technically softer, just about any online sports review will tell you that the game is more difficult to play. It’s condescending and outdated.
Rating: 3/10
N/A: Golf
Not applicable as golf does not qualify as a sport. It is a networking hobby for rich people.
Rating: -/10