Sasha Nathaniel Brooks Elenko, Co-Content Editor & Food Columnist
Knowing how to make the perfect waffle is a must-have skill for everyone, even the most isolated of hermits. After all, the only feeling better than biting into a hot, aromatic waffle, bursting with flavor, is the feeling of biting into a hot, aromatic waffle, bursting with flavor, layered with a delicately delightful sauce and tiny toppings to tickle your tastebuds, all the while knowing that you were the one that created that masterpiece, and that you created it free of the complacency with which so many folks so benignly follow the norms of waffle society.
It begins with a better batter. Mainstream society will tell you how to make your waffle batter light and fluffy, or soft and rich. None of that matters. As long as it makes your waffle, rather than breaking it, you need not worry. An engagement ring is evaluated not by the rarity of its band, but rather that of the gems lying within. So too is a waffle batter evaluated by the substance embedded within its doughy grasp.
When choosing your fillings, it’s always important to be original. While blueberries and nuts are both old classics, they may get tiresome after a while. Bacon bits are an okay choice to stir into your batter; however, bacon has become the go-to food for unoriginal originality. Small candies are never a bad bet, but can sometimes be eaten out-of-context.
In other words, there is only one rule when it comes to solids in your batter. Never. Omit. Pearl. Sugar. Sugar pearls are the lifeblood of waffles. They are the small bundles of joy that make your waffle pop, right when you begin to think you know what it tastes like.
Never. Omit. Pearl. Sugar.
Unfortunately, not every bite has a sugar pearl in it, so you need an alternative pathway. You need only turn as far as the flavoring. As the old saying goes, “Waffles are made, not born.” To create a legendary waffle, you had better choose a legendary flavor. A personal favorite of mine is orange extract and cocoa powder. The sharp citrus with the rich chocolate provides an ambience that can bring you home in an instant.
Don’t be afraid to push the envelope. If you fail, the worst that can happen is you have a less-than-perfect waffle. On the flipside, if you conform to the ancient waffle ways, the best that can happen is you eat the exact same waffle.
Congratulations.